The Beginning of the End
by Goldstarrach
Summary: Finn and Rachel have begun their senior year, thinking it will be their last year together. Trying to spend as much time together now as possible, Finn thinks about a future without Rachel.


**Here's a little one-shot I thought of for Finn and Rachel's senior year. This is Finn's inner ramblings about his future with Rachel:)**

**Please read and review! Thanks -Goldstarrach**

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><p>The night was silent as the final scene of <em>Funny Girl <em>faded to black on the small television screen facing Rachel's bed. She was already falling asleep, groggily repositioning her head on the pillows and her breath steadying. Finn, however, was still awake, lying next to Rachel with his head propped on one of the fuzzy pink pillows and his legs outstretched on the comforter. It was probably the first time he had ever stayed awake through the entire movie that Rachel had made him watch countless times before – usually he fell asleep about half way through and Rachel would wake him up as she sang "Don't Rain on My Parade" at the top of her lungs. But tonight, Finn was having trouble falling asleep.

He may have felt weird since it was the first time that he was sleeping over at Rachel's house. When her Dads were home, they wouldn't even allow them to be in a room alone for more than 20 minutes at a time, let alone sleep on the same bed together. Even when they were out of town, which was often, Rachel would try to send Finn home when it got late, though he was able to prolong some of their nights together by starting a make-out session. But he had never actually spent the entire night with her as he was going to do tonight. Her Dads were out of town for the weekend, and Rachel had asked that he stay over this time. She gave no explanation as to why she wanted him to spend the night, but he didn't need one. He wasn't going to pass up any time that he got to spend with her this year.

Their senior year had begun a month ago, but Finn would have given anything to make the year pass by at a slower rate. Three years ago, he had looked forward to the day he graduated and would be able to leave McKinley High for good, so he could go off to Ohio State University on a football scholarship with his popular girlfriend at the time, Quinn Fabray. Now, with 8 months left of his senior year, he dreaded the day that he would have to turn the tassel on his graduation cap, and have to soon be apart from the girl he was now and forever in love with, Rachel Berry.

They tried to avoid this topic in their conversations – neither of them wanted to think about being apart from one another. Both had tried and failed miserably in the past to stay away from the other, the most recent time being right before their performance at Nationals last year, when Rachel decided she couldn't have anything keep her from her "Manhattan Destiny". It was too difficult for either of them to deny their feelings for one another any longer though.

Going into their new relationship, they both knew that it was the beginning of the end, as much as they didn't want it to be. Finn knew that Rachel was going to go to a school in New York and star on Broadway – there was absolutely no denying it. He, on the other hand, would be lucky to be accepted to any school other than a community college. He may have had plenty of extracurriculars, and his grades did improve since he started dating Rachel, but his test scores from junior year were not so hot. Besides, if he wanted to go to a good school, he would also need a scholarship – the Hummel/Hudson family was not exactly rolling in it.

He always knew that he wanted to leave Lima, and make a name for himself, but he also always had a feeling that he would never leave, and would end up owning Burt's tire shop. He would be a Lima Loser, like almost all of the people who ever passed through McKinley's halls were.

And right now, that was the route he was headed down. Finn didn't want to hold Rachel back. He was raised to believe that when you truly loved someone, you made sacrifices for them, so that they could live their best life possible. That's what Finn thought he would be doing at the end of senior year by not putting up a fight when Rachel would end it between them. She was going to be a huge success, and he didn't want to stand in her way. Over the summer, Rachel had told him to make the most of every moment they had together, and he tried to heed her advice. But he found it difficult to not think about the inevitable goodbyes they had coming.

Finn stared blankly at the now black TV screen in front of him, taking in the dreadful truth that he and Rachel tried to avoid. Her steady breathing was the only sound he could hear in the empty household. He turned his head slightly to the left to see her resting on a pillow, her eyes closed and her whole body gently rising and falling with every breath. He was overwhelmed with how beautiful she appeared, even in her sleep. Her petite figure was spread out next to his, her smooth skin radiating, begging for him to just touch her. Her dark brown hair was splayed across the pillow, with a few strands hanging in her face. Finn gently smoothed the loose strands behind her ear, slowly brushing the tips of his fingers across her cheek. He traced her beautiful, full lips, eager to touch his to them, but decided against it, not wanting to wake her. She was so peaceful in her sleep and seeing her that way calmed him.

She began to fidget slightly, adjusting her head's placement on the pillow, but she didn't open her eyes. The tiny figure reached her arms toward Finn's direction, holding onto him, beckoning him closer to her figure. She laid her head on his chest, the rest of her body leaning against his. Finn lifted his arm around her and began to draw circles on her shoulder.

"Finn," She sleepily said, her eyes still closed, while she repositioned her cheek on his chest. "Finn, hold me."

Following her request, he wrapped his arms around her tiny figure, adjusting his body to rest perfectly against hers. He gently placed a kiss on her cheek, and the corner of her mouth turned into the slightest of smiles.

"I love you, Rachel Berry." He whispered to her at a volume softer than that of her steady breathing. She was asleep now, in his arms, and he couldn't help but smile.

That feeling was something he was not willing to let go of. Finn knew that what he felt with Rachel was not something that just goes away – it was not something that you ever felt with anyone else. She was the one. She had always been the one.

Three years ago, Finn may have been okay with cruising through his senior year, without really trying or caring about the consequences. But right now, in that moment, he knew that wasn't the case. He had already made up his mind. He didn't know how much time and effort it would take at the moment, but whatever he had to do was worth it. He would study harder than ever to improve his grades. He would take all the prep courses it took to raise his test scores. He would write all the essays necessary to apply for all the scholarships he could. He would even audition for music scholarships in any New York school he had the chance to.

It was that night Finn decided that nothing was going to get in the way of his destiny: a long and happy life with the girl he loved. It didn't matter to him how much effort it would take to get there. He was determined to make a name for himself like he knew his talented girlfriend would someday.

He would do whatever it took to keep the feeling he had with Rachel in his arms. He wasn't going to hold her back, but he was definitely not going to be left behind. He had made up his mind.

Rachel thought that she was in no place to ask Finn to do what he had decided upon just then. She couldn't ever bring herself to ask him to study harder or for his parents to pay his way through certain colleges. She thought she had no right to ask him to leave his home. But that was where she was wrong – Finn didn't care where he was as long as he was with Rachel. Closing his eyes to fall asleep while holding onto her, tightly in his arms, he _was_ home.

And he was never going to let that feeling go.


End file.
